A guide to Positivity

Hey guys, so this is a bit of an odd blog :D 

But I got to thinking lately about the toxic negativity people are letting into their lives and what it's doing to them. 

With depression and anxiety on the rise, the world is fast becoming a place dominated by people's image and self obsession. Nobody wants to be themselves anymore! Everyone wants to be Kim Kardashian, or Khloe, have the perfect body, perfect abs, fitness, perfect life etc etc. Everytime I go on my social media accounts all I see is #health, #fitfam, #lifegoals, #hyliejennerlips and so much more. What happened to just being YOU? People have become so obsessed with being fit and beautiful, drawing eyebrows, lips, contouring in cheekbones and a cleavage (I'm guilty of this myself) destroying our bodies with protein shakes and fast food, before agonising at the gym. Meanwhile not realising what this is doing to our bodies. 

Call me old fashioned, but whatever happened to the odd treat, can of coke or bag of munchies and just exorcising regularly? Rather than gorging on peanut butter and fast food and breaking your legs doing squats and burpees the next day. If you ever take a look at our grandparents era, they worked and worked all day, in the bog or the fields etc (I'm sure we've all heard the stories) they walked everywhere and they only had so many meals a day. Yet they had plenty of fatty bacon, apple pies and sweets. The difference is unbelievable. I tried doing it the old fashioned way for a few weeks, just cutting out the crap, sticking to a few meals a day, not stressing over it and making sure I got my daily walk in. About a week after I noticed a difference in myself and I stopped caring about other peoples bodies and weight. Everyone is made unique for a reason, not to be a carbon copy of anyone else. We each have our own finger prints, our own dna, so why do we try to be like others? Only when we realize our unique value will we be able to be positive in our own beings.

Somebody said to me not so long ago, that after they lost weight and changed their image, people noticed them way more and they got more attention on facebook. I was in shock, but I noticed it too. Every day my feed would be riddled with 'transformation tuesday' pictures of people who lost weight or toned up and they would get 100's of likes. So this is the only way to get noticed anymore?

 What is the world coming to? People might post photos or statuses to get attention, but they will start to depend on them and their insecurities will grow when they don't get enough.

Personally I am all for a person wanting to get healthier, in a natural way, but do it for yourself, not for facebook or instagram. Because you are only going to be happy if you do it for yourself. Comparing yourself to others on social media is worthless, because realistically, it is all a front! People aren't always what they post to be. So do everything in life for yourself, life is too short to do it for anyone else. Here are some steps I have to being happier and being more positive n your life. 

It is hard to transform into a positive person overnight and even the happiest of people aren't always happy. Everyone has bad and good days. But the trick to overcome the bad, is to remember that good days happen and will happen again. Think of a day you were extremely happy and remember what you felt. You will feel that happy again. 

Be thankful for you, have an attitude of gratitude! Try to be grateful for everything good that does happen in your life. This boosts the positivity. Slowly you will start to notice good things happen to you more and more and you will appreciate them.. Be thankful for your life, your health, friends, family, job, etc, even that nice cuppa you made at lunch! It will make you appreciative of every thing.

Cut any negative people out of your life. Negative people feed on negativity like oxygen, they literally live just to see you unhappy. Just like pulling out a thorn from your skin, you have to get rid of what does you harm. Even just spending less time with them and more with people that bring out the best in you will help. Delete them off facebook, block them, etc. Because some people literally live to see you upset and want to do better than you. Once they see you ignoring them and living a happy life, they try what they can to break that bubble. 

Preach positivity to others. If you teach others around you what you have learned, they will start looking on you as a dependable person and someone to help them. It will even make you feel helpful and proud of yourself. Even sending a nice quote you saw on pinterest to them may brighten their day and make you feel good for helping them. 

Have positive friends. When you grow older, you will start to notice your circle of friends get smaller. People change, as will you , it's all part of growing up. But it is also necessary to cut any negative friends from your life and keep the positive ones closer.They will grow with you and nurture you, rather than dragging you down.

Some people will always try to drag you down or talk about you and spread negativity like a plague.  It is best to just ignore it and stay away. Unfortunately some people get dragged down into the negativity and can't think for themselves, Stay positive always and be yourself! I myself have dealt with this situation plenty of times recently and always it is the same negative person coming back to cause drama, Just ignore it and move on like I have!  

I hope this blog helped you if you are feeling down and lacking positivity :) I just had some issues myself with people and decided to take my own advice of preaching to others :P 

Hope you enjoyed ! 

Sandy.S

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"We Were on a break!!!"

Hi guys, so again I'm back with a rather odd one :) I have been talking to a lot of people recently about this and seen or heard a lot of people asking about it :) I have decided I am going to write my opinion on it and hopefully give advice to those caught in an emotional roller coaster because of it :) 

So, what is the term 'to take a break' about, in a relationship? Is it like a holiday, or vacation from them? Do you see other people? How long does it last? etc. ( All I think of is Ross from Friends :p) 

To be honest I can't exactly answer all of that for you, because it depends on the person you are with. All I can say is, as soon as your partner says these words to you, you run, and keep running!!

Based on conversations with people I have discovered that the person who says this is just looking for a cowardly way to tell you that they want to see other people for a while and then snap their fingers at you when they want you back. It is such an Americanized term for ending or 'pausing' a relationship. They will use terms like 'It's not you, it's me'...'I just want to focus on my studies' or 'I need to discover myself' or some crap like that. I personally think that people need to grow a pair and say what they really mean. We're not in some American High school drama!

If two people are in a long, committed relationship, it may be because of stress or issues with marriage or whatever. Sometimes the person can need a break from the other person, just to breathe for a while. After all, absence makes the heart grow stronger. But still, maybe go for a long walk or shopping or whatever hobby it is you do. If you need longer, maybe you need to reconsider this relationship, why make both of you miserable and stressed? 

When it is a relationship that has only been going on for a few weeks and one says to the other "I think we need a break!" It's basically a cowards way for saying 'sorry, I'm not really sure if I still like you' and they want to see other people without having to do the awkward breaking up. This way they can say maybe you could get back together sometime and they won't feel as bad about it as they would a break up.They may even suggest being friends with benefits if they can't get anything off anyone else. Playing you like a puppet on a string. I knew a story, where the person wanted a break, but wanted to get back with the other person,when they were older and settle down. I was thinking..."What??" Basically she wanted to keep him on hold and wait for her...?? I laugh at people that think this way, either you want someone or not. Sin è/Simple as :) If you are in this situation, get away from it as fast as possible. I guarantee as soon as you do and meet someone that is worth your time, that other person will appear straight away again trying to cause hassle :) 

I see these issues every now and then on problem pages or 'Dear Deirdre' or wherever and I feel so sorry for the person, because you think you are in this great relationship and someone says the 'b' word as soon as things get a bit rocky. It can be so upsetting and you will feel so insecure and worthless, but just remind yourself it is THEIR loss. not yours! More than likely it's just what they think is a polite way of dumping you. You will move on realize that maybe that sweet guy you sit beside in the lab everyday or that pretty girl behind the till is someone that will accept you and treat you for who you are :) And if you are someone considering taking a break, for your own sake and theirs, just end it. 

Hope this helps :) 

Feel free to comment and share your opinions :) 

Sandy.S

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How to have the perfect lasting relationship :)

Hey everyone :) So this is something completely random :D But I have decided over the last couple of days to write a blog about how to have a good and loving relationship :)

love doing this :)

I know that nobody is perfect, everyone has their faults, but when your in a good relationship, that significant other should be able to make you feel like you are perfect, even just to him/her :) Everybody wants to have that one person that makes them weak at the knees, that they can be friends with as well as lovers, and most importantly that makes them feel like they are the luckiest people on the solar system, just because they are loved by them :) 

 Even when you're crazy about someone, it can often be hard to know if he or she is "right" for you. How do you know you won't feel differently in a year? Ten years? The rest of your Life? Deciding if you can commit to someone is a very personal determination. How do you know that he or she are the one? Here are some points to help you decide :) 

Everyone wants to be this happy years later with each other :)

You can tell them something you would never have told anybody else :) I don't mean something you say after one too many pints! But something you feel like you can tell them just so you can be closer :) Telling them these things means you can trust them :)

love talking over a good ol' cuppa :)

You can let them see you in your moments of weakness :) For me, a few months back I had been feeling a little low about life, just over financial worries and stress in college and I was literally at my all time low. I just found that apart from my family, the only one who understood was my boyfriend, he was there the whole time, he came with me to the doctor etc and it made me appreciate him so so much. I realized that he could be my rock for any obstacle we faced in the future.

A hug is the BEST cure :)

You won't want to change them :) There might be small things that irritate you, they switch the channel to soccer or insist on wearing certain items of clothing (for me its chinos :P) But you still love them, plain and simple. 

He loves his soccer :p

They should make you laugh :) I really think this is one of the most important ones :D Laughter is one of life's simplest pleasures and an absolute tonic. My boyfriend can always make me laugh no matter what :D I think it's one of the key ingredients to a healthy life if not just a healthy relationship :)

He always makes me laugh, especially with his attempt at dancing to 'Galway Girl' :P

You should be able to overcome any obstacle :) This could be anything, from a long distance relationship to financial worries to a crazy ex. You just know that you'll both get over it and it will all be worth it in the end. Every couple faces speed bumps throughout their relationship the key is to get over them together :) My boyfriend and I have dealt with all of these problems in the last while, especially the last one, but we still wake up every morning the same happy couple :D The long distance problem worked out easily, finances were cleared up and the psycho ex is finally out of the picture :)

Us out one night :) loved this night :) we literally never fight on nights out! 

The most important one of all, is that you should be able to see a future with them:) Obviously, how can you keep trying to make a relationship last if you can't even see yourself with them this time next week, next month or even next year! You have to be able to communicate with them, discuss your plans for the future and make sure to include your partner. You want to go travelling? Start making plans for the two of you to go? You want to move in together into a new apartment ? Make sure its suitable for both you and your partner. You have to think for two people and not just yourself :) 

Love the dress, ;) lol

Make sure you can trust each other, communicate with each other and love each other :) These are the keys to living together for a long time contentedly :) 

I love him :) My Boyfriend Stephen <3 ! Xxxxx

Hope this helps y'all :)

Thanks for reading guys :D

Sandy.S

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